Sponge bath it is.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
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If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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