ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
