hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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