Me too!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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