I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
