i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This is my life. Enjoy the view
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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