What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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