This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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