shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
