when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
