dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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