Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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