I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
