and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
