is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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