just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You're like the curious george of whores
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Brb crying the tears of my youth
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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