So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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