i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
