There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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