my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
