Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
