I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
