its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There r osticjed everywhere
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
