my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Someone signed my nipple.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
