this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
