nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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