I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
