so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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