Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
