what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
