My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize