My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
