The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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