We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
