If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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