How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
