A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
