I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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