why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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