You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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