too bad you live with your parents still
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
