I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
