i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
