Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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