Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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