erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Welp...herpes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
