apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
