Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize