It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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