The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
