There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
