Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
