Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
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Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
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I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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