The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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