I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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