He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
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The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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