Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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