Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
