she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
