so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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