I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
