There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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